JTHM Reality Show!
by Moonchild10
Summary: Jhonen Vasquez comics collide in a reality show that is pure comic doomy-ness! Fear my spoon.


Disclaimer: La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la  
  
YAY!!!! A JTHM reality show!!!!!!!  
  
First episode is really fucked over. I'm just trying to get everything straight. The next chapter WILL be better.  
  
Nte: When a character runs to the bathroom, it's so they can tell the camera something that they don't want the others to hear. If they just GO to the bathroom, the camera does NOT follow.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Moonchild: So I bet you're wondering what's going on, huh? Well, it's a reality show about JTHM. Cool, huh? Heh. This is gonna be so fucking fun!!! Meet my assistant for running the show, Jonathan!!!  
  
Jonathan: *waves nervously* Hello.  
  
Monchild: Ph c'mon JK tell 'em about the show.  
  
Jonathan: OK. This is a show about the JTHM and IFS people being trapped in a house, forced to live together, for a very evil show, and we're going to tape everything! Cool, huh!? Now, do I get my cornnuts?  
  
Moonchild: Here ya go, Jonathan-pooh.  
  
Jonathan: GRR! *attack*  
  
*/*/*  
  
*Scene fades to a house with a large yard..and a VERY tall fence around it to prevent escape.*  
  
Nny: Oh god. What the fuck is going on?  
  
Devi: Don't ask me. I think..HEY! What the hell is Nny doing in the same room as me!! I had a fucking restraining order!!!!!!!!  
  
Show producer: WHAT restraining order? *ripping up Devi's retraining order papers*  
  
Devi: You asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Producer: Shut up you bitch.  
  
*Assorted JTHM & I Feel Sick characters walk onto the set*  
  
Producer: OK people listen up! Welcome to the JTHM Reality Show!!!!!! Not to be confused with the JTHM Talk Show. Now, here's how things operate. We're going to film your lives for this show. You will NOT escape. You will NOT leave. If you do, you lose your $10,000!  
  
Tenna: (suddenly drooling) Ten..ten THOUSAND dollars?  
  
Producer: Yes. For participating in the show you will receive $10,000. There is only one bathroom. Deal with it.  
  
Devi: You should call this the 'Unreal World', you moron.  
  
Producer: (offended) No. It's very real.  
  
Devi: The only thing that's going to be REAL for you in a few seconds, buddy, is my foot in your crotch! (angry)  
  
Producer: Hey! Calm down spastic bitch! I'm not even on the show! I'm just explaining things to you!  
  
Devi: Grrrrr... (fists clenched)  
  
Producer: (in a very rushed voice) OK that's about all if you guys have any questions call me I'm leaving now good luck bye see ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs)  
  
Devi: (under her breath) Bastard.  
  
Tess: OK...now what?  
  
Psycho Doughboy: How many bedrooms are there?  
  
Nny: YOU! (whips out knife) YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF ANOTHER DAY, BITCH! (stabs D-Boy repeatedly)  
  
Everyone else: (stare)  
  
Nny: What? (gathers up broken D-Boy's pieces, dumps them out the window)  
  
Devi: Ooooookaaaaaaay. (giving Nny 'you're crazy' look)  
  
Nny: Fuck off Devi.  
  
Devi: (bristling) Ohhhh, so that's the way you wanna be, fag?  
  
Nny: fuck you!  
  
Devi: Only in your dreams, Nny. Only in your dreams.  
  
Nny: (growl)  
  
Tenna: Hey. Break it up!  
  
Devi: Yeah, I'll break it up. I'll break his FACE up!  
  
Tenna: Deeeeevi... (in a warning tone)  
  
Devi: SHUT UP!!!!  
  
Nny: Oh, so now you're being a bitch to your friends too? Of course. CUZ YOU'RE A BITCH!!!!!!  
  
Tess: Come on guys!  
  
Happy Noodle Boy: Fruitcake!!! Oh how it scares the mice!  
  
Wobbly Headed Bob: Yes, fight. There is no point in getting along when life will be over too quickly to matter anyhow.  
  
Nny: Shut up!!!!!!  
  
Eff: Yesssssssss. Yes Nny, harm them.  
  
Nny: (turning angry red eyes away from Devi and fixing them on Eff) LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Devi: (runs into the bathroom) *to camera* This whole thing with these talking Pillsbury Doughboys is getting really creepy. And why is everyone fighting!? Nny is really fucked up. (runs back to where the other people are)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Krik: Hey, what's going on?  
  
Nny: Asshole! I remember you! Fffffuck!!!!  
  
Sickness: I need somebody's mind to take over.  
  
Devi: Ho. Sickness is a ho!  
  
Sickness: BLAR!  
  
Tenna: hey, let's all try and get along.  
  
Devi: WHY!?  
  
Tenna: Because we gotta figure out who gets to sleep where.  
  
All: I GET THE ROOM WITH THE BALCONY! NO YOU DON'T! GRR!  
  
Devi: OK. I'm sharing with Tenna. I refuse to room with Sickness and Nny.  
  
Tenna: YAY! We can do girly stuff!  
  
Nny: Like what?  
  
Tenna: Giggle?  
  
Nny: Dear sweet lord.  
  
Eff: I'll room with Sickness then.  
  
Sickness: Fine. OK.  
  
Eff: Cool.  
  
Krik: I'm not rooming with Nny.  
  
Tess: Me either.  
  
Dillon: Me either.  
  
Squeegee: Meep!  
  
Shmee: Where do I sleep?  
  
Devi: With Squee?  
  
Nny: (remembering Shmee's evilness) No. With Sickness and Eff. Mind warping forces of a feather..um...room together, right?  
  
Shmee: Makes sense.  
  
Krik: Uh..I'll room with Tess and Dillon, and Johnny can have his own room. Then nobody has to deal with him.  
  
Devi: yeah.  
  
Nny: That burns guys.  
  
Devi: it should. Nobody likes you.  
  
Nny: (feelings slightly hurt) Heeeeey.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nny: (in bathroom, close to camera) Devi is a bitch! I can't believe I went on a date with her!!!! (goes back)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Devi: Well nobody does!  
  
Nny: YOU used to!  
  
Devi: That was BEFORE I knew what an asshole you were!  
  
Nny: I'm not an asshole! Right Kid? Right Danie?  
  
Kid and Danie: (from some random place far away) Right!  
  
Devi: (looks disturbed) Okaaaaaaaay. Now let's go unpack so we can make some dinner. I'm hungry!  
  
Nny: Yeah. You would be.  
  
Devi: What's that supposed to mean?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Devi: (in bathroom) ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSShole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (returns)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nny: Never mind. It's to complicated for your mind to comprehend.  
  
Devi: ASSHOLE!!!!  
  
Tenna: Devi calm down!  
  
Devi: NO!  
  
Nny: Oh come on Devi. This constant feud. Let's give it a rest.  
  
Devi: (surprised) Oh alright.  
  
Nny: Good.  
  
Devi: But I still hate you.  
  
Nny: Likewise, Devi. Likewise.  
  
(I can't seem to find a good place to end this episode!)  
  
===================================  
  
Later, they are all unpacking.  
  
In Devi and Tenna's room..  
  
Devi: Johnny is an asshole!  
  
Tenna: So I'm guessing you two don't like each other much?  
  
Devi: (glaring) What do you think?  
  
Tenna: Uh...that's a no.  
  
Devi: Correct, Tenna. You are a fricking genius.  
  
Tenna: Thank you.  
  
Devi: Oh geeze.  
  
_____________________________________________  
  
Next episode: STUFF HAPPENS! And watch as they attempt to make food. (that should be amusing) 


End file.
